Ready
to write again
Over
the past week, I slipped into some depression and couldn’t bring myself to
write. However, because of it, as God restored my strength to remain steadfast
to the A-Z blogging challenge, He also redirected my original “G” post idea.
So, here goes…
and my spirit
embittered,
I was senseless and
ignorant;
I was a brute beast
before you.”
Psalm
73:21-22 niv
Despite
having a 2-session bad experience with a counselor recently, she did give me
one wise thing to ponder.
GRIEF: Consider your losses, and grieve
I
hadn’t considered our move away from “familiar” last year or the news of my
husband’s job moving to another major city as something to grieve. I hadn’t
considered the source of my anxiety and depression as from things lost.
So,
I began to list what I’d loss in the move from Nebraska to Montana—people,
places, and things…my comfort zones--and with the pending move from Montana to
Colorado—friends never made, places never seen, and things never experienced. I am allowing myself to go through the stages
of grief with them.
Denial – “No, it can’t possibly
be….”
Anger/Blaming – “It’s all your fault…”
Bargaining – “I’ll make a deal
with you, God…”
Depression – “I can’t do this. I
do want to do this. I won’t do this…”
Acceptance – “Well, guess I can. I
guess I have to. I guess I will…”
The
losses from our move have been more difficult for me than the losses of loved ones
through death. Yes, the loss of them grieved my heart. The void left because
God called them to their new eternal home with Him brought pain and sorrow; but
the knowledge of them being right with God through Jesus Christ also gave me
comfort and joy.
Strange
as it may sound to some people, when I talk about the day my dad died as
being a blessing, I usually receive strange looks. But it was. (If you’re
interested, you can read about it here.)
Today's lesson: Grieve ~ Allow yourself to grieve. Work through the stages of denial,
anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Cry out to God. Weep until you
run out of tissues. Stomp your feet. Curl up into the fetal position. Run until
your side hurts. But, let God comfort you through each stage and every
position.
Remember
what Jesus said: “Do not
let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me. In
My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have
told you; for I go to prepare a place for you. If
I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you to Myself,
that where I am, there you may
be also… I am way, and the truth,
and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me.” John 14:1-3, 6
[And
my grief continues. As I write today, it is with a heavy grieving heart. My mom
called today to say, “It won’t be long. His heart has slowed greatly. His lung
capacity has dimensioned significantly. He has chosen to sleep in the ‘death
bed’ Hospice brought to the house.”
He
is my big brother; I am his baby sister.]
Additional
reading – 1 Corinthians 1:3-6
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